Tag: DeAndree Watson

Survivor’s Remorse 🤍

Summer 2020 vs. Summer 2024

When DeAndree was murdered in July of 2020, I felt immense and persistent survivor’s remorse. I felt helpless and powerless. Although we were separated at the time of his death, I felt I wasn’t whole without him.

While he was resting peacefully and still is, I had to continue living when I didn’t want to. When it ached the worst. When the pain was the most unbearable and unimaginable.

I am here to assure you that God is a comforter. I thank God for His mercy, love, strength, and support.

For my fellow grief warriors, I hear you. I see you. I am you.

🤍

“I was blinded by survivor’s remorse,
I was supposed to build.

…Still solid, still here.”

-Roddy Ricch

Letting go. 💫 Moving on.

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5‭-‬6 NIV

Move on. Not because it is expected of you but when you are ready. There is no timestamp on healing, no timestamp on grief, and no timestamp on recovery. It isn’t linear.

For over three years, I’ve mourned the complicated loss not only of my significant other but also for the life and future we had planned.

There comes a moment when you must let go and move on for your peace. For your mental stability. For yourself.

There comes a moment when the loss is no longer your identity but embedded in your history.

There comes a moment when the fire that once burned you becomes the very flame that ignites you.

And finally, there comes a moment when your heart looks back with gratitude but looks forward with hope.

And that hope is the very thing that saves you.

There’s light ahead, I promise. Just keep living.